Published · Updated · Christian Søndersted, founder of Flipr
Tell your child how the evening and night will unfold, bring a teddy bear, and agree in advance how the child can come home if they need to. Let your child be the protagonist in a short story where both making it through the night and calling home are perfectly okay.
Tell your child how the evening and night will unfold, bring a teddy bear, and agree in advance how the child can come home if they need to. Let your child be the protagonist in a short story where both making it through the night and calling home are perfectly okay.
| Moment | What the child often experiences | Story idea |
|---|---|---|
| The arrival | Saying goodbye and being in a foreign home | The child enters with their teddy bear, and the friend's dog says hello first |
| Dinner and play | Knowing what is allowed and how to do things | The child and their friend build a fort in the living room, and the host shows where everything is |
| Bedtime | New bed, unfamiliar sounds, and missing home | The child says goodnight to their teddy bear, and the hallway light is a little lighthouse |
| Middle of the night | Waking up and not knowing where you are | The child wakes up, sees their teddy bear, remembers where they are, and falls back asleep |
| When the child wants to go home | The feeling of having disappointed someone | The child calls home, gets picked up, and is told it was brave to try |
| The morning | Tiredness and breakfast at someone else's house | The child eats breakfast at their friend's house and looks forward to telling you how it went |
Friday afternoon. The bag is packed, and your child has been excited all week. But in the car on the way there, it suddenly becomes quiet. "What if I can't sleep?"
You've said yourself that it will be fine. But you also know that the phone might ring at two in the morning.
Flipr is an app where your child and your family become recurring characters in personalized stories with pictures and narration. You write what the story should be about, and it's ready in under 2 minutes.
This post is part of the guide How to prepare your child for something they are uncertain about.
The first sleepover isn't just an evening at a friend's house. It's also a foreign bed, unfamiliar sounds, and a home with different rules than yours. Norwegian child psychologists, as cited by Klikk.no, point out that the younger the child, the more security they need when away from their parents. Many children have fixed routines and a teddy bear that means a lot.
The good news is that the child can practice, and you can help make the situation less unknown. Mississippi State University Extension writes that many children first sleep away at grandparents' or cousins' houses, and that others need more practice before they can stay a whole night with others.
Here are six moments from arrival to morning and what you can ask for when creating the story.
The table above shows the six moments and story ideas.
Being picked up in the evening can feel like a failure, both for the child and the friend, writes Klikk.no. Therefore, it's a good idea to let the story show that both outcomes are fine: making it through the night and calling home.
Write what the child is uncertain about, and Flipr creates the story. Include the child, the friend, and the teddy bear so they appear in all your stories.
Klikk.no recommends staying home and not drinking alcohol so you can drive and pick up the child, and putting the phone on the nightstand so you wake up if the child calls. It is also perfectly fine if your child is simply more cautious than others. You don't need to make it a mission to change that.
You don't have to come up with anything while you're packing the bag. It takes just a few minutes:
Saturday morning, your child walks through the door and says: "I missed you a little, but I did it." You smile. It was you who gave the child the courage.
Want to see it first? See story examples. Also read about preparing your child for something new and the first day of school.
It varies from child to child. Child psychologists, as cited by Klikk.no, recommend waiting until the child says they want to, and starting with a family that both the child and parents know well.
Speak calmly with the child. If it doesn't help, pick up the child and talk positively about the fact that they tried.
Let the child take a teddy bear or pillow, tell the host about the child's bedtime rituals, and agree in advance how the child can come home if they need to.
Tell them about the child's bedtime rituals, allergies, and any medication, and provide your phone number and an extra contact. Ask who is at home and what the evening involves.
Do not pressure them. Some children are more cautious than others. You can instead let the friend sleep at your house so the child practices in a safe environment.