The Ferber Method: How It Works Step-by-Step

Calm illustration of a hallway by a bedroom in the evening, symbolizing the Ferber method for sleep training

The Ferber method – also called 'controlled crying' or 'graduated extinction' – is one of the most debated sleep methods for young children. Here is an objective overview: What is it, how is it performed, and what alternatives exist if the method doesn't feel right for you?

The Ferber method – also known as controlled crying – involves putting the child to bed while awake and waiting for fixed, gradually increasing intervals before briefly comforting them without picking them up. Richard Ferber recommends it at the earliest from 6 months, and most families see improvement within 3-7 nights.

Typical waiting intervals in the Ferber method (minutes before you enter)
Night	1st cry	2nd cry	3rd cry and onwards
Night 1	3 min	5 min	10 min
Night 2	5 min	10 min	12 min
Night 3	10 min	12 min	15 min

Source: Richard Ferber, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (1985). The intervals are guidelines – Ferber himself emphasizes that parents can adapt them.

What is the Ferber method (ferber metoden)?

The Ferber method was developed by American pediatrician Richard Ferber and described in the book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems from 1985. The goal is to teach the child to fall asleep on their own – without being rocked, breastfed, or held by the hand every time.

In short, the method involves putting the child to bed while awake, saying goodnight, and leaving the room. If the child cries, you wait for a fixed number of minutes before briefly entering to comfort them (without picking the child up). The intervals are gradually extended over several nights.

How to do the Ferber method step-by-step?

Put the child to bed awake after a calm, consistent bedtime routine, say goodnight, and leave the room.
If the child cries, wait for the interval that applies for that night (see the table above).
Go in, comfort briefly (1-2 minutes) without picking the child up, and leave the room again.
Extend the interval after each visit, and increase the starting interval each night until the child falls asleep on their own.

When can you start the Ferber method?

Ferber himself recommends the method at the earliest from 6 months of age, and many sleep consultants believe it makes the most sense between the ages of 6-18 months, when the child is physiologically capable of sleeping through the night.

The method is not designed for:

Children under 6 months (still need night breastfeeding/bottles).
Children who are sick, have a fever, or are going through a major change (moving, new childcare).
Children with sleep apnea or other diagnosed sleep problems.

If the child is older, it helps to know the sleep needs for the child's age before choosing a method.

Does the Ferber method work – and how quickly?

Research – including a large systematic review from 2006 – shows that graduated extinction (the Ferber method) is one of the most effective methods for teaching young children to fall asleep on their own. Most families experience significant improvement within 3-7 nights.

Recent studies also show that the method does not have measurable negative effects on attachment or stress, as long as it is carried out at an appropriate age and with loving presence between intervals.

Is the Ferber method suitable for all children?

The Ferber method is not a miracle cure. For some children, it works quickly and calmly. For others – especially highly sensitive children or children over 2 years old – it can feel too harsh and create more resistance.

That is why many sleep consultants today recommend a softer variant, where you stay in the room or sit next to the bed and gradually withdraw over several weeks. It takes longer, but can be easier for both child and parent.

What to do if the child is too old for the Ferber method?

For children over 2-3 years old, it is rarely controlled crying that is missing – it is a strong and predictable bedtime routine. Fixed times, a calm theme before bed, and a good bedtime story are often far more effective than any sleep method.

Read our guide to a calm bedtime routine, where we go through the best habits step-by-step.

Why do stories work so well at bedtime?

When a child is engaged in a personalized story where they are the hero, two things happen:

The brain shifts from external stimuli (screens, noise, light) to calm internal imagination.
The child feels seen and understood, which lowers stress hormones and makes falling asleep easier.

This is one of the reasons we built Flipr – personalized bedtime stories where your child is the main character, told with a gentle voice that helps them drift off to sleep.

Why does the baby cry when it's time to sleep?

Crying at bedtime is rarely a sign that something is wrong. The most frequent causes are:

Overtiredness – the child was put to bed too late and has too much stress hormone in their body.
Low sleep pressure – the child slept too long or too late for their nap.
Sleep association – the child can only fall asleep with breastfeeding, a pacifier, or rocking, and protests when the habit is missing.
Separation anxiety – typically between 8 and 18 months, when the child suddenly protests when you leave.

It is the third cause – the sleep association – that the Ferber method is designed for. The others are better solved with bedtime adjustments, nap schedules, and presence.

What do you do if the child wakes up and cries during the night?

Night wakings are handled with the exact same intervals as at bedtime. First check the practicalities – diaper, thirst, temperature, teeth, illness – and then use the waiting times from the table above. The most important thing is that the night resembles the evening: the same room, the same calm voice, no lights, and no play.

If the child wakes up at the same time every night, it is more often a habit than hunger. If they wake at shifting times and are inconsolable, look for illness or discomfort first.

How long does the child typically cry?

Most parents find that the first night is the longest – typically 20-45 minutes spread over several intervals. The second night is usually shorter, and from the third to the seventh night, the crying decreases significantly. If you see no improvement after seven nights, the method is likely not the right one right now.

Ferber method or other sleep training – what is the difference?

Ferber method (graduated extinction): You leave and return with gradually longer intervals. Fastest effect, most crying.
The Chair Method: You stay in the room and move further away every few days. Milder, takes 2-3 weeks.
Pick up / put down: You pick the child up until they calm down, then put them back down. Gentle, but demanding and rarely effective after 8-9 months.
Full extinction: No visits at all. Effective, but very few parents can stand it.

If you choose one of the gentle methods, a consistent evening sequence matters even more – see the sleep needs for the child's age and our bedtime routine guide.

Conclusion

The Ferber method can be an effective path to better sleep for babies and toddlers, but it doesn't fit all families or ages. For older children, a strong bedtime routine – ideally with a personalized bedtime story – is often the best investment. Choose what fits your child, and give it time.

How old should my child be before I can use the Ferber method?

Richard Ferber himself recommends the method at the earliest from 6 months of age. Many sleep consultants believe the optimal window is 6-18 months. Children over 2 years old often benefit more from a strong bedtime routine than from controlled crying.

Is the Ferber method harmful to the child?

Research shows no measurable negative effects on attachment or stress, as long as the method is used at an appropriate age and the parent is lovingly present between intervals. If it feels wrong for you, there are softer alternatives.

How long does it take before the method works?

Most families experience significant improvement within 3-7 nights. If you don't see any effect after a week, it may be a sign that the method doesn't suit your child or that there is an underlying sleep challenge.

What is the alternative if Ferber doesn't suit us?

The 'gentle withdrawal' (chair method) where you stay in the room and gradually pull away. For older children, a strong bedtime routine with fixed times, calm, and a personalized bedtime story is often the most effective path to better sleep.

Can I use the Ferber method when my child wakes up at night?

Yes. You use the same waiting intervals as at bedtime. First check the diaper, thirst, temperature, and signs of illness, and then keep the night as boring as possible: dimmed lights, the same calm voice, and no play.

How long does the child cry on the first night?

Typically 20-45 minutes spread over several intervals. The second night is usually shorter, and from the third night, the crying decreases significantly. If you see no improvement after seven nights, the method likely isn't the right fit right now.

What do I do if the child vomits from crying?

Go in, change them calmly and without scolding, put the child back, and continue the intervals. If it happens every night, it's a sign that the method is too harsh for your particular child – choose a gentler withdrawal instead.

Make bedtime gentle with a personalized bedtime story

Reference: Mindell, J. A. et al. (2006). Behavioral treatment of bedtime problems and night wakings in infants and young children. Sleep, 29(10), 1263-1276.